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Real-E-Reader

Today, 1 April 2012, XML Press announces general availability of Real-E-Reader 1.0, a revolutionary, adaptive, voice-controlled eBook reader that supports all eBook formats, works with every book retailer, eliminates eye strain, and is certified for in-flight use, even during take-off and landing. Available in female (sexy or soothing) and male (macho or suave) voice tones, and special orderable in celebrity models, Real-E-Reader 1.0’s flexible audio capabilities will make even the driest eBook come alive.

Are you frustrated by airline rules that make you turn off your traditional eBook reader during take off and landing? Do you suffer from eye strain with difficult-to-read screens? Are you confused by the plethora of eBook formats and retailers? Do you hate having to replace your expensive tablet or eBook reader every year? Are you tired of hard-to-use interfaces with tiny, confusing buttons?

If any of these first world problems make you feel like moving to the third world, then Real-E-Reader is for you. No expensive, obsolete-before-it-arrives hardware. No difficult-to-use interface. Just a real human being, reading your book to you, at your pace, the way you like it.

We take technology back to
the days before technology
took over the world.

Our in-depth evaluation of reading comprehension ability in business executives conclusively found that reading is over-rated and learning to read is a singularly unproductive use of your time. Real-E-Reader makes reading unnecessary, gaining our users valuable time for important tasks like dictating Powerpoint presentations, said Richard Hamilton, CEO of XML Press.

According to Al Martine of TechWhirl, Without a doubt, no tool would be better than Real-E-Reader for the future of technical communication.

Available in monthly, weekly, or economical hourly packages, there’s a Real-E-Reader for every need and every budget (airfare, meals, and lodging are extra).

Real-E-Reader 1.0 is the first in our line of products designed to take technology back to the days before technology took over the world.


Photo Copyright Yale Collection of Western Americana, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, License Creative Commons, CC BY-SA 2.0.